We’d all like to think that we’re the model traveller, but sadly, that’s not always the case. In fact, you may not even know you’re guilty of any of these terrible travel traits.
Okay, so let’s assume you’re an ideal travel buddy. Now, that frees us up to have a right old whinge about these travellers – you know the ones who …
… share their phone conversation with the world
You don’t have to ask who this guy is, because you’ve already heard his life story. I have no problem showing these people what I think of them screaming their conversation at a decibel level far beyond ‘polite’. And even if it’s in a language I don’t understand, you know what? I don’t care. I just want some bloody peace and quiet in the airport lounge – or at least not hear your ranting on to whoever is on the other end of the line.
… plug every conceivable electronic device into the multi-outlet charging ports
Yep, you know them. That backpacking bushwacker who acts as if she hasn’t seen an electrical outlet for weeks. As soon as she gets to the gate lounge, she’s plugged in her smartphone, laptop, iPad, travel torch, camera, iPod and, well, you get the idea.
… abandon their kids to be supervised by society
We’ve all seen those parents who, when on holiday, decide to take a break from parenting too. Their kids are running up and down the ship’s deck or kicking into the back of your plane seat, or climbing all over your carry-on in the airport lounge. Do yourself a favour and practise your death stare – it never fails to set those tiresome tykes straight.
… left their earphones at home
Why should I have to be an audience to your weird musical tastes (I’m talking to you, Justin Bieber and Drake fans)? And if I wanted to listen to YouTube videos about cats befriending disabled birds I’d watch them on my own phone WITH MY BLOODY EARPHONES PLUGGED IN! Oh, and speakerphone is for when you’re on your own – not in a room full of people who don’t care what your daughter had for breakfast.
… maybe should have stopped after four glasses of red
So, you had some time to kill before your flight, or maybe you’re a bit nervous about flying, but that fifth glass of red isn’t going to make things any better – especially not for the cabin crew or the poor sap sitting next to you on the plane.
… think they’re a bit more special than they really are
You know the ones who make self-entitled statements like “do you know who I am?” or “is that the way to treat a VIP?” These people are the crème de la crème of douche-baggery. There is simply no excuse for flouting ‘status’ in any circumstance, let alone on a plane full of people sitting in cattle class who would give anything just to have two extra inches of legroom, let alone red wine that is served at room temperature.
… need a seat for their bags and what not
You’ve rushed around all morning just to make your flight on time and all you want is to take the weight off your feet for 20 minutes before your plane boards. The gate lounge is full, but in the corner you see a couple of free seats – until you get there and see that Mrs Sprawlsalot needs a seat for her baggage and for her McDonalds Happy Meal. You ask her if she doesn’t mind moving her goods, and it’s like you offered her an acid enema. And based on her reaction to your request, you’d happily oblige her. It’d get her off the seat.
… have an incessant need to sigh
You know, for some reason, sighing really gets my goat, especially when that annoying exhalation is exuded by impatient people. Those people who feel as if they must have paid more for a ticket and, therefore, have the right to be more annoyed than everyone else. No. No you don’t. And you should know that your sighing just makes it worse for everybody.
… feel the need to be abusive to staff
These are usually the same people who think they’re a little more special than they are or the ones who have an incessant need to sigh. They may even be the ones who should have stopped after two glasses of red. Whatever. The staff are doing a job and more often than not, any delays, hold-ups or inconveniences are due to powers out of their control. Unless, of course, they’re being rude. Then you can let ‘em have it with both barrels.
Do you know any of these travel types? Have you ever been guilty of committing these travel taboos? If you’ve never been that traveller, then let’s book a holiday together!