Winter is upon us, so for many it’s time to get cosy. Light the fire, grab a hot drink and enjoy some laughs to warm the soul.
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Wife texts husband on a cold winter morning: “Windows frozen, won’t open.”
Husband texts back: “Pour some lukewarm water over it and then gently tap edges with hammer.”
Wife texts back 10 minutes later: “Computer really messed up now.”
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Q: What do skiers eat for lunch? A: Icebergers
Q: Why was the snowman sad? A: Cause he had a meltdown.
Q: What did the tree say after a long winter? A: What a re-leaf.
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It’s so cold …
Pickpockets are sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets to keep them warm.
Politicians have their hands in their own pockets.
Dogs are wearing cats.
When we milked the cows we got ice cream.
We didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
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Q: What do you get from sitting on the ice too long? A: Polaroids!
Q: What’s an ig? A: A snow house without a loo!
Q: What’s the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush? A: One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!
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