HomeLife'The frank advice I received during a visit to a sex shop'

‘The frank advice I received during a visit to a sex shop’

She had wanted to write a chapter for her novel where her women friends went together to a sex shop to look at the range of toys available. Only one of her friends had much knowledge of these matters and she filled her in on some of the possibilities out there.

She had heard a Melbourne designer talk on the radio about the business of designing sex toys and the need to make their products both safe and usable. It was fascinating radio and took the products out of the tawdry into the utilitarian.

Why had she never bought one for herself? Was it the tawdriness of the shops that had put her off? The darkened windows and the pictures of scantily clad models on view? There always seemed a cheapness and debasement about them. Truth also be told, she had never had any difficulty masturbating, her hands worked well and efficiently. But as she aged, she pondered what she might have missed.

She knew there was a Sexyland nearby and a friend from work, the more worldly wise one, recommended the place. Yes, they are efficient and have an excellent range. My goodness. What would she find?

Fortunately, it was still the era of acceptable mask wearing and, taking courage in her hands and hiding herself behind an N95 mask, she approached the store, went in and was accosted by a very young sales assistant. Tallish, overweight, big boobs, purple and pink streaked hair, ring through nostril, but ever so helpful.

“What exactly are you after? Do you want clitoral stimulation or vaginal?“ came the blunt question.

“Well, er, how about both together?” stumbled out the words behind the mask.

“Yes, we can do that. There is an excellent range of vibrators over here,” replied the sales assistant as she walked to an entire wall of colourful vibrators, big and small. “This is the one that you would know from Sex In The City – the classic rabbit ears one, very reliable, and it now comes with an easy charging cable, no need for batteries anymore. Just plug it in for a few hours until charged and then it runs for ages. There are quite a number of combinations for pleasure, just adjust these push buttons as you go – slow, medium or intense. It works really well.”

The mind boggled for a moment and then even more when the price was mentioned, but she had come here determined to walk out with something and so she handed over her credit card.

As the assistant tallied the goods and added some free water-based cleaning product, she gave out some free advice. “These are great and so much better than bothering with a bloke. No mess, always hard and reliable and you don’t have to put up with all that other shit that goes with men.”

She nodded at the sage advice and quickly exited the store, climbed into her car and ripped off her face mask. How amazing to have such a blunt conversation with a total stranger about my sexual needs, she thought. An excellent piece of research to boot. Mission accomplished.

Not so tawdry after all.

Have you visited a sex shop? Should there less reluctance to do so? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.

Also read: How and why to use sex toys in your 50s and beyond


  1. Here’s some more sage free advice, stop referring to them as “Sex Shops”. That is one thing that they are not.
    If you are shopping for sex, go to a brothel. Sex is one thing that you cannot purchase at an adult shop.
    An adult shop can sell you the dream of better sex. At your own hands.
    The range of dildos and vibrators intended for female use is daunting and for many confronting.
    Over the past decade there have been amazing advances in plastics. Instead of the hard plastics now they have realistic skin feels that can be easily a substitute of the real thing in the dark. Blue tooth and control from an App on your smart phone, or maybe your partners phone.
    A friend of mine worked in one for quite a few years and told of how the mature aged women who would come in close to closing time so that they would be the only ones in the shop and not have to face the scrutiny of other customers. They were often surprised and more relaxed to find that the shop assistant was a modestly dressed woman of a similar age.
    When men are buying a “toy” for their lady friend they too often believe that what she wants and needs is a super sized version of the male appendage and my friend would have the lady friends come in a few days later with the unopened item and asking for one of more modest dimensions.
    Buying On-line can be less expensive, but feeling before you buy cannot be over emphasized.
    An important aspect is that for some men, finding that the lady in their life is using a battery powered substitute to them is in essence saying that they aren’t real men any more.
    Integrate the use of the toy into your normal love making as an extension of his compassion and desire for her to reach ultimate pleasure. If it boosts your libido, he will be pleased to think that he helped.
    Oh, and make sure that you start with the batteries fully charged as no-one likes that let down feeling of the partner,or toy, finishing before they do.

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