Don’t expect your children to let you live with them

Australian parents are more willing to let their adult children move home than mum or dad.

Don’t expect your children to let you live with them

A new study by the Australian Institute of Family Studies (AIFS) has revealed that Australian parents are more willing to let their adult children move back home (63 per cent) than to allow mum or dad to move in (47 per cent). The study also showed that the older the adults became, the less likely they were to want their elderly parents to live under the same roof.

While Australian parents may not want their own parents with them, they were more willing to offer financially support, with 64 per cent suggesting that, if asked, they would help mum or dad financially. By comparison, only 59 per cent said they would offer the same kind of support to their adult children.

“Australian families acknowledge they have responsibilities to help older and younger generations with financial assistance and even a place to live in some circumstances,” said AIFS Director Anne Hollonds.

The study revealed that migrants from non-English speaking countries were more likely to welcome elderly parents into the home (65 per cent) than non-migrants.

“Within families, there’s a recognition that intergenerational support is a two-way street – both for young people finding their feet but also for older family members who are becoming frail and in need of informal care,” said Ms Hollonds.

What do you think? Do you hold a similar train of thought to the findings? Or would you be more than happy for a parent to move in with you under the right circumstances? And what does this mean for your retirement savings?




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    1st Dec 2016
    What's wrong with putting a Granny flat in the backyard? Their elderly parent would have their privacy as well.
    1st Dec 2016
    Not sure the backyard granny flat is what this is all about.
    1st Dec 2016
    Yes Jackie, the granny flat is by far the best idea.

    My mother lived in ours for 20 years after dad died, only having the last few months in a nursing home. She hated the nursing home, but was bed bound & beyond my capacity to care. I don't think it would have worked with her in my home, but it suited us all, & the kids gave her a real interest in life well into her 90s

    Fact is she was much less expense & trouble than either my daughter or son who have had extended periods in it recently.
    1st Dec 2016
    I like helping my children out when they need help (not that often). I would not want them to take care of me if I needed to be taken care of at some stage. My Mum was difficult to live with (I tried for a while to take care of her) and she expected me to provide extraordinary levels of daily care and support to the extent I had no life other than what she commanded. I arranged a very nice nursing home for her and visit regularly. Much better.
    1st Dec 2016
    1st Dec 2016
    Can't but agree.
    We live in a different world where 'self' seems to rule. And you wonder why society is breaking down. What will the next batch be like? Gremlins!
    1st Dec 2016
    Totally agree - we would not expect our children to look after us and we hope to make our own choices at the appropriate time about our care. What may have been more appropriate a generation or two ago when most women did not have paid jobs and life expectancy was 70 is not necessarily appropriate now. I was not able to care for my mother due to location, and also due to the fact that, having stayed at home with my kids when they were young, I needed to work full time in my forties and fifties to secure my own future, so could not have given her the care she needed. That situation applies to many others and will only get worse in the future. My bachelor brother, however, decided he would move in with mum to look after her at a time when she was starting to have falls and had other health issues and needed professional care. However he continued to work and expected mum to sit in front of the TV all day, which needless to say she didn't do, so she continued to have falls. My objections fell on deaf ears and by that stage mum could not be reasoned with and wanted to be at home. Mum was 88 and had quite advanced dementia before he finally agreed to find appropriate high care accommodation for her. She would have been far better off in a low care facility when she was 80 with company and stimulation and professional care. As an addendum, my mother did not have her parents live with her.
    1st Dec 2016
    Mick - if one does not look after oneself then one is unable to be of much use to anyone else.I have a large family and many friends who get plenty of my attention, so does Mum - but my Mum's extraordinary needs are best met with expert round-the -clock care - aren't we lucky to have those facilities available when we can't do what is necessary to make life comfortable for our folks.
    Crazy Horse
    1st Dec 2016
    Until the Industrial Revolution turned us into wage slaves the mult-generational home / close extended family was the norm.

    1st Dec 2016
    They just dont want you....surely people get that! The survey showed it.

    Don't be under any false illusion that you will be looked after by your children. Make provision for yourself.
    2nd Dec 2016
    Radish F - I feel sorry that you believe that your children don't want you. Of course life is a lot different now than it was many years ago as described by a few posters.
    My children were very upset when I was diagnosed with cancer and begged me to live - they did not want me to die. Thankfully I have recovered and am enjoying life, and received support however managed everything else myself. I did not feel that my children should bear the daily burden of my care and certainly did not resent that they were not there most of the time (they all live far away).
    I have made it my business to make friendships and joined activity networks with people my own age. As well as that, I have made a decision to book myself into care should the need arise. I certainly do not expect any of my children to physically care for me should I not be able to look after myself. It's a huge job. I know that as I tried to take care of my Mum but I am older myself and was not able to do it. None of my other siblings were able to physically take care of her either. That does not mean we don't love her - it just means she needed to be where there was 24-hour care which none of us could provide. We visit often.
    2nd Dec 2016
    I am going on the findings of the study.

    "The study also showed that the older the adults became, the less likely they were to want their elderly parents to live under the same roof."

    If that is the case then seniors have to make provisions for themselves....makes sense to me.

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