The Meeting Place > Grandkids Corner > Disagreements between parents and grandparents

Disagreements between parents and grandparents

avatar
Ben
3 yrs ago

Cookies for breakfast, staying up late and maybe a little more TV than usual.

For some families, what happens at grandma’s house stays at grandma’s house.

But for others, clashes over parenting choices and enforcing parents’ rules can cause major strife between a child’s parents and grandparents according to research from the University of Michigan.

Nearly half of parents describe disagreements with one or more grandparent about their parenting, with one in seven going so far as to limit the amount of time their child sees certain grandparents.

Disputes most commonly involve discipline (57 per cent), meals (44 per cent), and TV/screen time (36 per cent).

Other thorny subjects: manners, safety and health, bedtime, treating some grandchildren differently than others and sharing photos or information on social media.

Do you clash with your children about the treatment of grandchildren? What causes the most fights in your family?

4 comments
avatar
JKB
3 yrs ago

No I do not argue over parents decisions. My son & did are fabulous., responsible parents & I cannot think of any area where we differ.

Communication on who, how & when lets all concerned know the rules.

The lidless may try to bend the rules, but I just give them "the look" over the top of my glasses.

avatar
Sophie
3 yrs ago

We had our turn at being parents, so we respect our children's parenting choices..so far so good and am very pleased with what I see. I don't think it's fair to go against parental rules because it makes discipline harder when grandchildren return home after a spell at the grandparents.

However like JKB, I do give them the "look" when they're getting a bit out of hand. I think one can have tons of fun with the grandkids without causing any friction with the parents.

avatar
Marigold
3 yrs ago

I agree with the above. Grandparents get to do the fun stuff, not the hard side of parenting, and we are not with our grandchildren to the same extent as our children are. It can be difficult as we have come out the other side of parenting so we can feel we know more but we have to give our children space. My daughter and I have differences re my grandson but in the end either approach is equally good for my grandson, but one is bad for my daughter and I.  We need to learn to back off and just enjoy both child and grandchild. That is the best and most supportive thing we can do. I speak from having a mother who interfered in my daughter's life behind my back at the same time she totally dismissed my other two from when they were babies. It caused ongoing damages that can never be repaired. We are the older and, hopefully, wiser.

avatar
RnR
3 yrs ago

No way would I ever intervene/contravene in the parenting of my grandchildren unless I thought there was serious evidence of abuse.

I brought my child up the best I could and I totally trust him to do the same with his own children.

God forbid, I ever become a "bossy-boots" grandmother or mother-in-law.

My little family is going through extremely serious health issues at the moment and all handling it admirably IMO. All I do is offer support. Don't know if I could be as strong as them.

4 comments



To make a comment, please register or login

Preview your comment